This is why you shouldn't believe in horoscopes

 This is why I don't believe in horoscopes

Horoscopes are supposed to tell you what the stars have in store for you, based on your birth date and zodiac sign. They are supposed to give you guidance, insight, and advice on your life, love, and career. They are supposed to be fun, entertaining, and sometimes even accurate.

But I don't believe in horoscopes. And here's why.

First of all, horoscopes are too vague. They use general statements that could apply to anyone, such as "You will face a challenge today" or "You will meet someone interesting". They don't give you any specific details or predictions that you can verify or act upon. They just give you a false sense of hope or fear that may or may not come true.

For example, last week my horoscope said that I would have a lucky day and that I should buy a lottery ticket. So I did. And guess what? I won! A whole dollar! Wow, thanks horoscope! You really nailed it!

Secondly, horoscopes are too inconsistent. They change every day, every week, every month, and every year. They contradict each other and themselves. They tell you one thing today and another thing tomorrow. They tell you to do this and then to do that. They tell you to be yourself and then to change yourself. They tell you to follow your heart and then to use your brain. They tell you whatever they want to tell you, depending on the mood of the writer or the alignment of the planets.

For example, yesterday my horoscope said that I would meet my soulmate and that I should be open to new possibilities. So I was. And guess what? I met someone! A very nice person who seemed to like me a lot. We had a great conversation and exchanged phone numbers. But today my horoscope said that I should avoid commitments and that I should focus on myself. So I did. And guess what? I ghosted them! Sorry, horoscope! You can't have it both ways!

Thirdly, horoscopes are too biased. They favor some signs over others, depending on the popularity or preference of the writer or the reader. They praise some signs for their strengths and ignore their weaknesses. They criticize some signs for their flaws and overlook their virtues. They stereotype some signs as being compatible or incompatible with others, based on arbitrary criteria or personal opinions. They create divisions and conflicts among people who otherwise have nothing to do with each other.

For example, last month my horoscope said that I would get along well with Aquarius and Pisces, but not with Aries and Taurus. So I did. And guess what? I made some new friends who were Aquarius and Pisces, but I also lost some old friends who were Aries and Taurus. Why? Because I followed my horoscope blindly and ignored their individual personalities and preferences. How stupid of me! Horoscope, you're such a jerk!

Finally, horoscopes are too irrelevant. They have nothing to do with your actual personality, character, or destiny. They have nothing to do with your choices, actions, or consequences. They have nothing to do with your reality, experience, or potential. They have nothing to do with you.

For example, last year my horoscope said that I would achieve a major goal and that I should celebrate my success. So I did. And guess what? I achieved nothing! Nothing at all! I wasted my time and energy on something that was not important or meaningful to me. I missed out on opportunities and experiences that were more fulfilling and rewarding. I regretted everything! Horoscope, you're such a liar!

That's why I don't believe in horoscopes. And neither should you.